Did I Really Do That?

I am not a chef, but I can cook, perhaps down to the fact that I am meticulous, organised and read what it says on the packet. I do a mean salmon on pasta with prawn sauce, which varies according to what is available in the kitchen. I try to balance salt and sweet, garlic and any other ingredient.

We sometimes buy fresh chilis, which invariably dry after a while, but we keep them like that. A few times I have used dried chilis in my prawn sauce to add some kick to it, which Mrs S in particular likes very much. I did that yesterday as well.

I am a keen washer-upper, even during cooking, which is particularly good when you handle both onion, garlic and, in this case, chili. I always clean any board straight after use; I am funny like that. I also wash my hands regularly during the process, which is extra prudent handling the chilis.

Yesterday I did the usual, used my fingers to remove the seeds and tear the chilis into small pieces. Then I washed my hands thoroughly, several times, with washing-up liquid.

I managed to get the meal ready for the important European football game between Liverpool and Real Madrid and sat down to enjoy a sporty meal. My favourite team, Liverpool, outplayed Real from the start and I felt I was in for a memorable European evening, which would turn out later to be true, but in a different way to what I had anticipated.

After a thoroughly thrilling first half and a lovely salmon dish (if I may say so myself) I realised I had been staring at the TV screen without blinking perhaps for too long, so my eyes were a little itchy. Then I did it. To an observer it might have looked like I could not believe my eyes. My team had been outstanding and outclassed a formidable opponent after all.

I took off my glasses and RUBBED MY EYES! Need I say more? I had washed my hands a thousand times in warm water with soapy stuff; the chilis were dry, etc.. etc..

I thought my eyes would burn to slushy mush, melt, disintegrate, explode, run dry or .....  I honestly thought my hands were without any trace of the hot chilis, but some oil or microscopic particles must have lingered on my fingers to set my eyes on fire.

It took all of the half time interval to rinse my eyes in water, first under the tap, then using the eye cup Mrs S rushed upstairs to get from the medicine cupboard. Perhaps I should have taken a photo of my eyes then, but that might have scared some squeamish readers. The fact is that I said to Mrs S, "It's crazy, I am standing here thinking I have to blog about this", and laughed about it.

How sad is that, inflicting pain on yourself in order to have some blogging material? I would certainly never do this again. Next time I will be using my trusted rubber gloves or something.

My eyes still feel a bit swollen today, but what the heck, Liverpool progressed to the quarter finals of the European Cup.